Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Unemployed

I am working so hard to get a job and I don't have one. It's so interesting and humbling being on this side of things. I used to mock the unemployed thinking if they really wanted a job they would get off their butts and go get it. And here I am, hundreds of sent resumes later, unemployed. I'm working towards my Texas teacher certification. I have a lot to do preparing for this certification . . . but at this point it's costing money. But all the while, the savings are being burned through like gasoline. It's hard not to feel sorry for myself. And it's so embarrassing when someone comes and asks what my job is. The shame is often the hardest part.

I'm ready to work hard but I just need a chance. I want to teach. It's what I'm trained and experienced in and what I love to do. I can go another month like this and then I'll need to find a job no matter the pay or the role. God please give me strength and wisdom.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Finances

As a Christian, finances are a bit tricky. On one side of the coin is the whole idea that I need to not love money--meaning it should never take over as an idol. Also there's the reality that I am already living in ridiculous wealth and comfort especially in comparison to the bottom 50% of the world's population. There is the very real issue that probably, money is already an idol and I'm so entrenched in it that I don't realize it.

Having said that there is the another side of the coin or maybe several (as paradoxical as that may sound). The other side of the coin is to not be a slave to money and possessions but to invest those things for kingdom use. It means to work hard with my skills and multiply what I have been entrusted with. I've just (and I mean "just". It has been just over a month) returned to the US after 11 years abroad. One thing that is hard to miss is the abundance of everything and the "need" for stuff and how expensive this stuff ends up costing.



There has to be another way. I have been thinking this through and I am going to commit to a new path. I have a goal . . . a dream really. I want to be financially independent. This means that I want to be free of debt and free from the need to have to have a job. I don't mean retire and do nothing. I want to live in such a disciplined and shrewd way, that it leaves me free from the chains of "stuff" and money and gives me the chance to use "may" possessions (really the possessions God has given me to steward) for God's glory. I am not disciplined in this area by nature. Sometimes it may seem like that because I like to save money. But really, that's a hoarder's mindset. I'm trying to find security in my savings or my budget when I should be finding it in Christ. And security in Christ doesn't mean blowing my money on stuff . . . creating liabilities.

God give me wisdom as I lead my family as we steward your gifts.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Starting Fresh

It's been 5 years since I've posted anything on this blog. This is primarily because Blogger was blocked in China. Well, I'm back in the US. It's time to log this journey--the journey of life. I am excited to do this even if no one but myself ever reads it. I just want a place where I can share my thoughts, struggles and . . . well, life. I'll probably post once a week. It will usually be on Sunday's.